wow. didn’t realize it but i went pretty much the whole weekend without being on the net. how’s that for out-of-character behavior?

things happened, movies were watched, a dad was treated to breakfast. it was quite a nice weekend, though it did go by in a bit of a blur.

things are well, i guess. something is shifting in my life, but it’s so far under the surface that i don’t know what it is. strange dreams, mood shifts, that kind of thing. it made me super cranky last night, but then the mood passed without any solid answers.

on the other hand, the surface of my sea is like glass. i’m happily cycling through my netflix queue, doing tai chi and generally settling into a calm period. of course, since i have this kind of feeling so rarely, i worry a bit that i’m getting complacent. i’ll just keep an eye on things and make sure that i keep creating stuff.

i’m thinking that the tai chi has a lot to do with this. i’m moving my body more than i’m used to, obviously, but the whole purpose of this exercise is also to shift my energy, my chi, around. i’m clearing out bad and replacing it with good. there are a couple things coming together here. first, there are my reproductive problems. then there are my back problems. these are two things that plague me most often and they are both in the same section of my body, my middle, my core. and where is the center of your chi? yup, the core. i guess it all makes sense when you look at it that way. i’m shifting that energy (which is definitely helping my back, btw) and everything else is going to start shifting as well.

and yet through all of this, i feel calm on the surface. i need to keep going so the calm can penetrate deeper and clear out whatever is lingering there in the darkness. then i think forward motion should come much easier.