blessings.

they’re things i forget, and when i do, it feeds my fears.

this week, i’m going to use this space to focus on my blessings and see if i can’t drive away some of my fears. it doesn’t neccesarily mean that i’ll do anything about the things that scare me, like going to the dentist, but i’ll hopefully be more able to handle the fear that i’ve built up around these things.

so, i’m sitting here all nervous as i write this. what if i can’t overcome my fears? what if i get to the end of the week and i’m just as fucked up as i was when i started?

okay, i’m gonna break it down and keep it really, really simple: my top 25 blessings, five per day, in no particular order:

1. the freedoms that come with living in the United States. yes, we’ve got a lot of problems, but as a woman, i’m able to go anywhere i please, have a job, wear what i want and get an education and that is something not to be taken for granted.
2. the knowledge that there is a large universe out there than what is spoonfed to us through the media, popular culture and religious institutions.
3. Braveheart, my wonderful fur boy and his darling brothers Chess and Underfoot
4. the internet which allows me the freedom of information and exploration in ways no one could imagine would ever exist.
5. a home. not just a house, a place to live, but a home filled with warmth and love and support.

this is just the beginning, there are some very important blessings missing here, but i don’t want to blow my load all on the first day!