settle in folks, this is going to be a long one…
“people say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life… i think that what we’re really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we can actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
- joseph campbell
thank you joseph campbell. i’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. his acknowledgement of star wars as a great myth of our time has been very inspirational as well as his views on spirituality. who would have thought that star wars could send me off the path i have been following for the last few months? surely not me. suddenly i find myself derailed and swimming about in the spirit soup again. it feels right though, this is a journey, an exploration. at the moment, i am content to drift about and not have a label for what i am feeling. there is actually strength in actively not naming the path i am on. there is freedom there as well. i’m thinking about things more abstractly and in a larger scope. what is power? why does one desire it? does spiritual power and magick lead toward greater inner growth if nurtured properly? what is the balance between taking good care of one’s physical self and one’s spiritual self? at what point does one cross the line into narcissism or folding into peer and societies pressure to conform physically?
am i getting too out there for you? let me let you in on an observation i made about myself this morning that may give some insight into where this incessant questioning comes from or at least on how my mind works. i got off the train and was shuffling up the stairs along with all the rat racers. there was machinery ticking out an almost military tatoo of rhythm. everyone kind of climbed the stairs in time to this beat. me? i made conscious efforts to avoid walking in time all the while observing everyone else’s unconscious conformity. i often do this. is it a sign of a rebellious streak? perhaps an effort to make sure that i am not being duped into complacency? perhaps it is all this and more. something i am mulling over in my spare time.
i was also reminded this weekend of my original vision for this blog. i was going to experiment with writing fiction. i generally consider myself a mixed media visual artist. i work in paint and pencil, on the computer and with sewing and fabric and bookbinding. the list goes on, but it remains consistently visual. to quote a certain golden droid, “i’m not much of a storyteller.” most of my work is done by impulse and i let the muse lead me around where she may. but in 2002, i had a writing bug. i never did anything with it and the result was that this blog became more of a traditional journal than anything else. but there is new inspiration afoot. i have been creatively blocked for several months. the little work i did do was either embroidery or knitting. while i am happy with the outcome, they didn’t have the immediacy of my usual work. when i did try something more spontaneous, it came out looking like something you’d find in your dentist’s office or local burger king. and that’s being generous. suddenly, though, i find myself with not only the desire to write, but the inspiration, character and plot outlines to do it. star wars fan fiction. sounds kinda silly? too bad. there is great writing talent out there that have expanded on george lucas’ work into every corner of the galaxy. it can be fun, serious, sexy, dramatic, heart-wrenching or action-packed, or all of them at once. and i’m really excited about the concept. will it be posted here? perhaps. it also may never see the light of day. it all depends on my bravery.
on a similar topic. we completed watching, in order, for the first time, the entire star wars epic. any shortcomings of lucas’ directing or editing, any old special effects shots that could look dated were all cleanly wiped away. the story of the tragic boy from tatooine who could have been the greatest jedi to ever live, but was consumed by his human frailty and used as a tool by others only to be redeemed by his son and his own realization of his manipulation was the most powerful cinematic event i have ever witnessed. it was outstanding, amazing, iconic, mythic and i had no idea the depth of emotion i would experience in watching it in its entirety. i have loved episodes 4,5 and 6 for as long as i can really remember. episodes 1 and 2 were great movies, but had yet to truly capture my heart. the final puzzle piece was unveiled, episode 3. now, the story is complete and for those of us that understand story and magick and spirit, it truly is the myth of our generation. and on that note, i suggest you go watch episode 1 again. then 2. then go to the movies and watch 3. by the end of that film. i challenge you to stop watching. but you will be unable to. you will want to see how it all ends. the repeating themes, the iconic structure, the powerful emotions of love, hate, fear and faith will draw you in. at times like watching a horrific accident, at other times a thing of great beauty. star wars is the ultimate opera and the story of our times.
